Im happy but there is a heavy feeling of sadness in my heart that I just can't remove. Why am I like this?

In the absence of a should, I was free to be as I am.

It’s the most beautiful and liberating thing in the world.

What I am trying to say is that when you stop trying to change yourself into something you are not, you give yourself the gift of discovering yourself as you already are.

Buzzy anti-aging supplement beloved by biohackers may not actually be that useful after all - New York Post

I was tired of trying and failing.

And the sadness?

Without resistance, sadness has a sense of beauty and depth I cannot find otherwise in life.

USMNT vs. Türkiye: Starting XI & Lineup Notes - US Soccer

It’s still here.

You are like me, then.

Needless to say, my failed attempts to fix my sadness simply brought me more pain and suffering.

Someone said that Japanese girls fly to Los Angeles all the time to have fun with black men. Is that true?

Your job is not to be the manager of your life, but the one who discovers yourself fully.

This interpretation lead me on a path of self improvement, to fix what I considered to be “wrong” with myself.

But no matter what I read or practiced, I could never make the sadness budge for longer than a few fleeting moments - and even then, it was likely due to me being distracted from the sensation of sadness rather than anything actually shifting.

SpaceX launches 500th orbital Falcon rocket on 15th anniversary of the Falcon 9 - Spaceflight Now

It’s difficult to put into words exactly what caused what, but to the best of my ability to describe it, I felt as if my will to keep fighting was beaten right out of me.

When I stopped trying to force myself to be something I am not, I gave myself the freedom of being who I am.

But unlike before, there is no more resistance to the sadness.

What are some sad truths about life?

For much of my adult life, I interpreted this sadness as something being wrong - with either myself or my life in general.

I was tired of fighting.

Be who you already are.

Has any man licked his wife's vagina while another man had sex with her?

Now, this may sound like a story of failure and giving up, but it’s actually a story of liberation.

So if you are sad - like me - then be sad.

It’s impossible to overstate the freedom and peace I discovered, and I realized the only one who had been keeping those from me was… me and my imagined standards and expectations for how I had imagined I should be.

Thoughts on an 8-1 Rangers win - Lone Star Ball

Most people that know me would probably describe me as a social, happy, and somewhat quirky person with a twisted sense of humor.

What most people don’t know unless they’ve looked more closely is that there is also an element of deep, profound sadness that has always been with me since as long as I can remember.

I had run out of hope.

What is your daily motivation and does it work?

The sadness was still there.

It wasn’t until about 10 years ago that I finally fell out of that ferris wheel of trying and failing to fix myself.

You are the masterpiece you came here to discover.

Don't Make This Mistake When Setting Up Your Switch 2 - Kotaku

So I finally threw my hands up and said something to the tune of “fuck it, since I can't seem to change, I’ll just be whatever I am then.”

It’s here now, writing to you.